Just throwing out ideas here.
Have you tried using a different nic on the host and/or on the Starwind server? Maybe you could test with a RAMdisk on a different computer.
If you have a unused nic on the vSphere host, you might want to try a direct connection to rule out switch problems.
I'm not saying that sone equipment is not working right, but sometimes computer/software problems are not logical..
If your switches have some ISCSI optimization, try disabling that btw.